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Thursday, January 13, 2011

To the Honourable Twinkie V. Twinkerson

I have hereby been authorized to offer you the following bribe gift so I can win Mango Minster for your totally stupendous work as the most honest and impartial judge the world has ever seen:



One month's paid vacation to an unnamed location so Pedro can't find you in British Columbia, Canada.

During your stay at our 5 star resort you will receive the following:

A quiet solitude where you only need to compete reside with two dawgs and one cat!

A wake up call at 5 10 a.m. each morning followed by a brisk morning afternoon walk carry on a white fluffy pillow.  Your personal servant will lower you only when you deem it necessary and so as to not cause you any undue stress will lift your leg as needed.

Breakfast, lunch and dinner will be served on a silver platter each day and will consist of hot dogs, roast beef, chicken, squirrel.  Any or all of those will be served upon your request.

Your days will be filled with illicit puppy dawg dreams as you listen to the ocean calm your nerves and lull you to sleep. 

At the end of the day, you will receive a full body deep massage to rid you of any stresses that you may have experienced during the day.


You will not be required to bathe, have your nails trimmed or any other grooming done unless you request it.

This bribe gift will only be valid if I win Mango Minster is yours to redeem at any time.

I hope to see you at the estate for the sole purpose of slipping you some hot dogs.

Sincerely,

The most insane cracker dog around named Sam!

16 comments:

  1. Best bribe we've heard yet
    Benny & Lily

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  2. that'll surely get a couple of judges on side.

    XXXOOO Daisy, Kendra and Bella

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  3. lol!!! sounds good to me ;)
    See Yea George xxx

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  4. Did you say Hot Dogs? Dats just gross!
    But I has to give you props on dis gift post...brilliant!

    Puddles

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  5. SHOCKING!

    I am sure Twinkie will be able to resist your questionable offer.

    Slobbers,
    Mango

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  6. Isn't it cold and snowy up dere?
    Brrrrrrr! Da squirrel sounds good though.

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  7. Bwahahahahhahahahaa!!!

    Darn....wish we would have thought of this furst! Bwahahahhahaa!

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  8. Twinkie won a Contest prize or something??? I didn't even know you were havin a contest. That is a grrrrrreat prize pressie.

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  9. Sam & Pippen - I'm so touched that with all you have going on in your lives (eating, sleeping, bribing judges) that you're actually worried about whether I made it out of the snow bank... so worried in fact, that you threatened... I mean offered to send Puddles. Since she couldn't make it out of her trailer park without a GPS though, I'm seriously questioning your sincerity... BOL

    I'm actually doing fine. Snow didn't do me in, but it's been really, really COLD. My walks have been much shorter and my naps much longer. Is it Spring yet??

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  10. Awww...what a nice pressie that you're giving without any strings attached whatsoever to Twinkie. You're just the sweetest, Sam!

    Wiggles & wags,
    mayzie

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  11. OMD!!! And the winner IS!!! BOL you guys rock. Throw in a heated dog bed por favor and it's a deal BOL
    What a pawesome post!
    (thanks for the heads up comment)

    Judge Twink

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  12. If I were a judge, you'd definitely have me on your side!

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  13. OMD!
    What a bribe... errr.. mmmmm... I mean... what a gift!
    Kisses and hugs
    Lorenza

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  14. Good grief! Abby did not expect to be working this hard, this early in the competiton to guard the judicial ethics of the sacred Mango Minster event! Personal foul! You are hereby fined one luxury resort visit with amenities as described and a heated dog bed. You may pay your fine anytime in the next 3 days by sending Abby the first class plane ticket to B.C., as she will be accepting the payment of the fine in person. You may, however, ship the heated dog bed directly to her residence. Fines double after 3 days.

    Jed & Abby the Enforcer

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  15. Sam,
    can you send me a peemail please to backupdogATcomcastDOTnet

    I need to ask you something.

    Slobbers,
    mango

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